by Scott Moore
Though we are working it Dottie and I are not debt free. Unplanned medical expenses and an old college loan complicate our life. These and other things settled our determination to step onto a path less traveled, one leading away from the mainstream.
Now COVID-19 is here and everything is changed and seems off course. Right now we are thankful for the actions we took over the years. On our journey away from the mainstream we've heard some interesting responses to our actions. When people learn our house and vehicles are paid for, we often hear "Do you realize how rare that is?!" or "I would do anything to have my house and cars paid off!"or "I would be happier living a simpler life, but..." The occasional affirmation is nice. The puzzlement people sometimes express does not bother me.
When people learn how we did these things and what we risked and sacrificed some folks' attitudes sour. Probably for these folks the risk and sacrifices are too high, and the negative material yield is distasteful. The path away from the mainstream is not an A to B trip. Nor is it a temporary loop outside of comfort zones and back to familiar places. Further, I do not believe a full escape from the mainstream world system can be realized. Even so, I had not expected our actions would polarize and offend some folks -- even within our more trusted circles of community. We were not asking for these people to join us. Similarly, it is not their lack of approval that stunned us but their open disapproval.
At the time, these negative responses surprised me. "What is going on? " I wondered. Over the years I came to realize that not only did our long-duration actions, sacrifices and risks appall some folks, others were put off or felt as though our actions were judgments of them.
Why?
We were not imposing our views onto others. Our life choices and world views on living more directly to the land, to cleaning our diets, to striving towards being debt free, to our journey through home birth and home schooling, these things threatened them. These actions did not affirm their choices, lifestyles and world views. Nor did it confirm their understanding of religion...even though some professed the same faith! Its like we had to share the same views even though our perspectives and life experiences were profoundly different.
From time to time I found myself in controversy with our community of relationships and co-workers. The conversation topics seemed safe enough at first. I mean, after a certain age, many talks are about managing debt and losing weight.
Here is an example. Each time I accepted a promotion at my old job there was an expectation from my new "peers" that I would sell my wore-out-but-paid-off pickup truck and settle into a new or nearly new F-250. I found myself involved in some unusual conversations. In the beginning I would casually state "Naw. I don't want the payments and full coverage insurance." It seemed a safe enough response, but somehow the conversation went on, and down hill. Looking back I guess authenticity and honesty are not the best ways to avoid confrontation!
Years later I came to realize my forthright statements and actions accidentally made my contemporaries uncomfortable. Me buying a new pickup truck would affirm their actions and world views, and me not wanting a vehicle payment and full coverage insurance deeply threatened them on a personal level. I suspect they expected me to settle for five or six year old F-150. Then I would have fallen in with some imaginary pecking order, ladder-climbing and game-playing (e.g., "fake it til you make it," or "I have to look good to succeed"). Had I done this I would have set the world in their minds, aright. Never mind this world is fictional; it's a communal dream nearly everyone believes is reality.
Well, what can I say? If you want to keep up with the Jones's there is a near-secret misery no one talks about. It's that gnawing insecurity, that you don't know who you are without looking at some one else for reference. You hope "keeping up" helps you in some way. It is the kind of thing not spoken aloud. If uttered out loud, even if only to yourself, you whiff it. That reek of insanity.
For many, the illusion of a life well lived is good enough. Why not? Mediocrity is the run away best selling commodity. Just look at the popularity and consumption of white bread, light beer, blended whiskies, blended coffees, blended tobacco cigarettes, American "cheese"and other processed and fast foods. There is nothing wrong with these, but this is not the best we can do...and, Americans get fat on this stuff? Really?
Not everything I do is top tier. I am not debt free. I need to loose weight. I drink the common, blended coffee brands most mornings. For me the difference is, I know there is a better cup of coffee and I'm saving it for celebrating the weekend or some friends.
I see a connection to Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four novel. There is a world system. An adaptation of Orwell's work can be found in the phrase "the rat race." The rat race, like mediocrity is inescapable. The twist reality provides over fiction is Big Brother is not policing us, but our peers are. Even so, these days are not so dire as in dystopia literature and film. I choose to live the most direct life possible. A life where I can keep the things I cherish near. Relationships with, Dottie, my children, extended family, time in the outdoors, my relationship with Christ.
In an age where our nation is striving for tolerance and acceptance Americans by and large still struggle with petty, trivial things like debt, status and courtesy in rush hour traffic."If I buy this truck will they make way for me onto the freeway?" or "Will I get a promotion with this truck?" I guess what really offended my work peers is I got the promotion without the truck and I did not buy one after.
What offended my closer circle of community is the journey we are on offers no quick fix and no return to consumerism and materialism. The irony is that many people keeping up feel they are only marginally successful, that they are on the outside looking in. Their journey's trajectory is not plotted towards radiance and glory, but to maintaining, sustaining the status quo...usually to impress people they do not know or like. In the rat race we never fully arrive. Someone is always moving the cheese, and telling us we need to adapt to the new environment. Maybe ignorance is bliss...but what if they now and again whiff something else?
Ten years ago I could not say this because it was not true for me. A year ago I would not say this because I did not want to offend anymore people, accidentally or otherwise. I guess the risks and sacrifices the rat race demands is shocking to Dottie and me. For us, the Jones's and their insecure neighbors can keep believing in the rat race. The system or rat race does exist, and it is a powerful force, but we know there is a higher life.
Thanks for reading.
MSM
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